Oh Hey, It's 2015.

Ah January 1st... the day when gym memberships go up and the greasy hangover food goes down.  It's a brand new year and a blank slate.  Anything is possible and it's hard not to be optimistic that this year is going to be YOUR year.

Except that honestly, all that does is set us up for disappointment.  This year, I learned the hard way that goals without actual plans to achieve them are just fantasies.  "Losing weight," "being a better person" or "trying something new" are fantasies; they're abstract and unless you can break said goal into steps you can actually accomplish over the course of time.  Or better yet, don't set any "resolutions" at all.  I get that the physical flipping of a calendar conjures up an obligation to start fresh and make this year better than the last, particularly if this past year was anything between underwhelming to disappointing (like mine), but taking steps to make yourself or your life better can happen any time.  Excluding births, deaths, engagements or weddings, our life is no different on December 31st than it will be on January 2nd.

Don't start something just for the sake of starting it.  Start it because you want to do it and finish it.  Conversely, don't beat yourself up if you don't end up finishing it.  Rather, think of it this way: you didn't fail, you recognized something wasn't working for you anymore and chose not to waste your time on it.  Everybody fucks up.  Everybody has something (or multiple things) they wish they could go back and undo.  Everybody has regrets.  Every. Body. Don't let your being pushed into making a resolution you don't really intend to see through one of those things.

If you have resolutions, I wish you all the best.  I hope you achieve them, but mostly I hope you set them because they're both what you want and they're achievable.  I read this year of a lovely idea: get a jar and over the whole year, put a note to yourself every time something good happens (a promotion, a relationship, a new friend, getting published, a trip), make a note of it and put it in the jar.  On New Year's Eve, read them all.  That way, you're focusing on what you actually did, not what you said you'd do and didn't.  Great, eh?

So let's stop being so hard on ourselves and see what comes our way - and see how we handle them.